You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
