And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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