Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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  (804): I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities http://tfl.nu/vh2c
  Replies (16) Good night (4131) Bad night (689)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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  (217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi
  Replies (6) Good night (4747) Bad night (1020)
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  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.

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  (805): I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1uws
  Replies (6) Good night (1280) Bad night (2584)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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  (806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg
  Replies (4) Good night (2134) Bad night (949)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

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  (303): You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them. http://tfl.nu/oqni
  Replies (6) Good night (1710) Bad night (2916)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.

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  (806): Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit. http://tfl.nu/v64d
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (2427)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

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  (609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl
  Replies (7) Good night (4414) Bad night (1403)
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  (714): View more from California

  After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

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  (714): After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain. http://tfl.nu/appx
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1309)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.

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  (610): this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all. http://tfl.nu/9oal
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (609)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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  (587): It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse. http://tfl.nu/f8ym
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (572)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me

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  (206): She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me http://tfl.nu/zp1n
  Replies (11) Good night (2304) Bad night (619)
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  (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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  (510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt
  Replies (9) Good night (494) Bad night (1221)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa

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  (808): Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa http://tfl.nu/xvlh
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (404)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (322)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."

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  (313): This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow." http://tfl.nu/pm0e
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (304)

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