he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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