can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?