Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.

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(618): View more from Illinois

This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

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(812): View more from Indiana

Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

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(480): View more from Arizona

In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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(435): View more from Utah

some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.

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(669): View more from California

Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.

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(360): View more from Washington

No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules

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