dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day