I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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