Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
