pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how drunk are you?
Several
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize