I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
