i don't like sucking hair
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
