I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
