he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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