Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
