are you still at the devil's house?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
