you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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