UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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