I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
