Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
