p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize