I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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