i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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