The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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