I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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