Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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