Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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