You're so nebulous sometimes
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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