Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Randomize
