10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
