SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
