Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
