i don't like sucking hair
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
