are you so shy because you have an std?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
