Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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