Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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