Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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