Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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