For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
