I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
