You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
