I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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