I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
