I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
