Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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