Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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