If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
