Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
