i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
