Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
