so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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