I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
