No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
