Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
