I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
