There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A bitchslap is in order.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
