Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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