Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
