I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
