you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
