I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
