I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
