Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize